That time of year again.

So when I started this blog I said that it would be a warts and all account and that I would say how I was feeling so here is what I am feeling today.

Tomorrow is July 17th, I really did hope this year that I would just not notice the day... silly me... today I woke up grumpy and as this isn't something that usually happens with me it felt odd and at first I hoped it was just because I knew there was a lot going on at work today but deep down I knew... its my wedding anniversary tomorrow and as much as I am happy and in a good place mentally it still hurts at times when you remember and you wonder what should've been.

3 years ago was such a happy happy time, all my friends and family were in Geneva to see Dave and I get married and I truly believed in the happily ever after... it was not to be.... and for that I will always be sad, there has been a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache even very recently and as much as time heals you don't forgive and you don't forget not totally.

Sometimes the emptiness just comes back.... and you remember and you cry....

I have moved on so much in the last 2+ years and it really is thanks to the fact that I have an AMAZING family and I have incredible friends some of whom were not even in my life 3 years ago. Things change, life moves on, friendships come and go, true friends will always be there and I am extremely lucky in that I have a lot of life long friends! One day I do hope that I will fall in love with someone and that someone will fall in love with me..... I do believe in what Carla said to me when Dave left, things happen for a reason and you don't know who is waiting round the next corner!!

Meg thank you for coming out for supper tonight, Anita, Ailsa thanks for the chats today and making me realise how far I have come and how lucky I am and how silly he was!! Men hey!!! ;0)

Tomorrow will be what it will be but I am going to focus on what I have got rather than what I haven't.... and I have a lot and for that I am very grateful.